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“you go the distance, you never thought that you could” – Cheap Trick

This past summer I turned 41 years old. On the night of my birthday after going for a long run and getting a massage, I began looking through my closet for the perfect outfit for a birthday dinner at the Mountain Brau. As I tried on top after top I came to the realization that I no longer fit most of my dress clothes. As I stared into the mirror I felt a familiar mind body disconnect. I felt bad about myself. No longer proud of the 5.9s I floated up the day before or the 9 miles I ran earlier in the day I began to fill up with self hate.

One thing that keeps me sane in moments like this is speaking out. And this loud mouth shanty irish italian from Flatlands has no problem with speaking out. When I talked to my friend N. another female climber about my birthday outfit crisis she was supportive and said, it’s time for new cloths. You’re an athlete. I know there is no shame in this. Having a supportive community of women climbers, feminist activists and athletes is essential. In my previous job working in marketing for the women owned sex toy company, as employees, we worked a lot on body image challenging sexist behavior, fat phobia and homophobia. Having a positive self image is critical to not only a healthy sex life it’s critical to happiness. Babeland was a transformative place to work. I try to take these experiences into my climbing world.

Still many women climbers are afraid to work out. We’re afraid to lose some feminine quality and no longer be seen as attractive. We don’t eat enough protein to recover. We tone when we need better strength and conditioning. We’re reading about Ines Papert’s FA in Climbing magazine one day and reading about the latest Cosmo diet the next.

Having a healthy body image is hard though when I try on cloths from the different top brand outdoor manufactures and there size XL is a size 12 (and a small 12) I feel defeated. When I see other tall women wearing gaiters cause none of the manufactures in the US make cloths for tall women I get pissed off. And when some companies and stores don’t carry any XL’s well I can find my way to the door. There’s no shame in being a size large nor a size XL and if outdoor companies want to see there bottom lines rise in this tight waisted economy they better start listening to the power of the woman shopper cause we are a vastly under utilized market. Fortunately Mountain Hardware and Marmot are making some great tops for women who are bigger, busty, and tall while both could use some tall sizes the Marmot scree pant works for me. In the meantime check out New Hampshire’s Wild Things LLC. They will make pants for you sized to order for a small additional charge and have a quick turn around time. I highly recommend there mountain guide pant.

And on a somewhat related note I am getting a little tired of gay jokes in the sausage heavy (aka mostly male) climbing scene. It would seem the number of gay jokes increase proportionally depending on how few women are around and how many bare chested beer drinking boys are. Saying something is “really gay” in a room full of straight people is ….really bigoted. Ditto the snide shaming comments about all the “bromances” in the climbing scene and god forbid male alpinists spooning for warmth and survival followed by knowing laughter. Words count my friend. And words said on a blog or climbing event are an action that sets the tone for how others interact in our community. Make sense? Moving on.

Crossfit Workout Update

I’m on week four of crossfit. This week I went 4 times using the suggested xfit method of 3 days on 1 day off. I’ve hit a new PR for rowing 500m. My new record is 1:53. This is big progress since I started last month and was at 2:04. I’ve also seen increases in my pull up capacity. On Friday I did 150 pull ups in 5 rounds of 30. It was a crushing workout. 5 rounds of 500m row followed by 30 KB swings followed by 30 pull ups. I have a long way to go but I feel like I am making real improvements. It’s a great program and I am pysched.

Additional Tips for the Upcoming Ice Season

1) It’s a mental game. In an August 2008 interview with Muscle and Fitness magazine noted alpinist and fitness trainer Mark Twight said, “The mind is primary. Physical training is easy, especially if you only do what you already do well. Psychological training is hard.” I truly believe the mental game is key to climbing harder. We know we can get that 5 whatever.

2) have goals but have fun. Often times when I met friends or clients at the beginning of the day or for the first time I say my primary goal for the day is to have fun. And I mean it. I want everything to flow from my desire to have fun even when I also have a tick list of hard climbs jotted down in my diary.

3) Part of working on my mental game is I try to keep a climbing journal. In this journal I note all of my climbs but also how I was feeling mentally. Did I have any breakthroughs or break downs.

4) Trekking Poles: trekking poles (or pole) rule. They help distribute your weight over four limbs instead of two. They are essential for crossing streams to back country ice routes like Buttermilk Falls in the Catskills or ascending tricky talus fields. Often times I will bring one pole on climbs where I am familiar with terrain, two if I am carrying in a heavy load for an overnight. Grivel has a new Himilaya collapsable pole that is light, and stays together even when folded up. Check local climbing shop www.rockandsnow.com for the trekking version of the Himilaya. It’s sweeeeet.

5) Ice Climbing sucks without good gloves. Right now I am using 2 pairs of Cloudveil’s 2008 version of the ice floe glove for lead climbing. I also bring a pair of EMS work gloves for those summer ice days in the catskills. Kelly Cordes has initiated a great discussion on gloves system for this winter’s climbing here: http://kellycordes.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/glove-article/

http://mountainhardwear.com/Home.aspx

http://www.wildthingsgear.com/

http://www.athenafit.com/philosophy.htm

(check out athenafit. It is ice climber Carolyn Parker's gym here. She's worked with Mark Twight at Gym Jones and has great advice for women climbers

http://crossfitwomen.blogspot.com/

"Strong is Beautiful" -- Crossfit Slogan

Two years I began doing Crossfit twice a week after reading Mark F. Twight's book Extreme Alpinism. Following Twight's fitness suggestions led me to both his website gymjones.com and to crossfit.com.

Unfortunately due to the lack of a crossfit facility in my area and my own desire to focus solely on climbing I gave up crossfit in a few short months.

More recently I've been reading about the workouts done by Exum Guides at Mtnathlete.com as well as the Alpine Training Center in Boulder.

Seeing all these badass women and men, climbers and tri-athletes, some close friends as well as heros messing it up in crossfit inspired workouts motivated me to check out the newly opened gunxs crossfit (http://gunxcrossfit.typepad.com/) in Gardiner.

I've always had a uneasy relationship with my body and athletics. Being 6 plus feet tall can be a blessing and a curse. School gym coaches were always quick to expect me to succeed in basketball while other kids honed there talents in stand up comedy at the expense of my large frame and big feet. As a teen I rebelled hard and refused to play any sports with the exception being an occasional street hockey game where I skated circles around the competition.

When I discuss crossfit with other climbers many are concerned weight training will bulk you up. However we don't often have the tools or the awareness to know what really goes into bulking up nor do we know if we even have a solid foundation of fitness. It would seem many climbers women and men have uneven muscle development even when we are climbing at a fairly high level on the rock.

Right now I am in transitioning from rock climbing (and rock guiding) looking toward a full 4 plus months of water ice climbing in the catskills, daks, NH and who knows? I am planning on guiding ice full time as well as getting out there as much as possible. My goals in crossfit is conditioning my body to perform at a high level over long days and gaining strength and power. I certainly have a lot of core strength but I feel like I need a base level that can take me through a solid 5 plus days of climbing ice with few rest days.

At gunxscrossfit we got an excellent coach, Peter, with an understated style and great taste in music. During my first workout we rocked out to Springteen and Bob Dylan. Peter's coaching isn't a one shot deal where he tells you what to do and then walks away like some commercial gyms. At crossfit your looking at ongoing hands on training and coach. He's got a great group of runners, climbers, tri-athletes and folks coming too. Everyone is cheering each other on.

I am currently going to crossfit 3 days a week. I am not climbing much these days. The days are shorter and chilly so this is what I am doing to prep for ice season. I've actually thought about going more but we'll have to see. I made it out for a run this week and hope to keep at it. I am thinking I have 8-10 weeks of crossfit training to get ready for the full on ice season. Here's a week of crossfit. I will try to keep up my reports and let you know how its going.

Week 3 of Crossfit

1) Monday
pm - crossfit

2) Wed
am - gunxscrossfit strength workout
pm - ran 4 miles

3) Fri
pm - gunxscrossfit conditioning workout

Some Inspirational Links:

http://gunxcrossfit.typepad.com/

http://mtnathlete.com/

http://www.gymjones.com/

A Brooklyngoil's Gear ~ An Insider Guide to my Gear Obsession

They say "light is right" and "every once counts" and I tend to agree. However light also equals expensive and frequently means less durable. While this may not be a safety issue per se it does mean your gear may not last as long. Dynema slings mean be stronger than nylon but certainly get worn out alot quicker. Ditto for the super thin ropes. and caribiners.

My pack fully loaded with gear and water weights = 20 pounds (25 pound with 2.5 liters of water).All weights are approximates.

This breaks down as the following:

Pack -- Millet Pro lite 35L (size m) (1850grams) -- pack is stripped of all unnecessary do-dads.
hydration system - MSR Dromlite 2.5 liter (5.8 oz)
Harness - Arcteryx M 280 (9.8 oz)
My rack -- weight = 10 pounds

Pro
A mix of BD and DMM nuts 2-10
Set of 4 tri cams
3 master cams (orange, yellow and blue)
2 BD C 3 (red and green)
7 BD C 4 (lil blue to big blue)

Slings
2 4 foot dynema
9 2 foot dynema
5 quickdraws

Carabiners
half BD neutrinos and half BD hotwire (in the winter I switch to all hotwire)

Lockers
1 Petzl Attache (for belay)
5 BD Vaporlock

Cordelettes
2 21 foot 6mm

Assorted other items
BD ATC Guide
2 prussiks
1 Petzl tibloc
1 Petzl spata knife
Metolius nut tool
Petzl chalk bag
Guide book (grey dick)
1 pairs of barracuda rock shoes
Petzl headlamp
small first aid kit
sunblock
extra bars and gu
Helmet -- for the hot weather Petzl Meteor 3 (winter TBD)
Camera

Ropes
1) lead rock -- Sterling Velocity 9.8
2) lead ice -- Sterling Ion 9.5 (and Petzl dragonfly 8.2 half ropes).




Climbing up the Uberfall descent w. Lucy


interview with Donnie Darko and The Box, out this Friday, writer and director Richard Kelly: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42994

Started by alpine climber Jonny Copp, this year's Adventure Film Fest in Boulder, CO. looks very good. http://www.adventurefilm.org/index.aspx

Posted on gunxscrossfit an article linking depression and processed food. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8334353.stm

Some thoughts as we get ready for ice season.

1) Don't sharpen your tools yet. Each year its so much fun to gear up for your first day on ice by going through the ritual of sharpening your crampons and ice tools. This is a great skill and its awesome to practice it to have it dialed. But early season ice is often thin especially in the catskills. Wait to sharpen your tools for your first big project of after you've been out a few times. I

2) transitions are key in the mountains. they enable us to move quicker and safer. Rope management is a critical skill as we transition between pitches or top rope areas. Practice coiling your rope at home so you have this wire when it comes to the outdoors. Expect to always be carrying your rope across your pack in a butterfly coil. Ropes weight a lot too. If your buying a new rope make sure its dry treated and light. Nothing larger than a 9.8. The sterling velocity is a great rope but most brands work well.

3) Train, cross train: The best training for ice climbing is ice climbing but we can't always do that cross train by climbing rock indoor and out door as much as possible this fall. Focus not on the hardest project but mileage for endurance. Climbing with a small pack weighting 8-12 pounds can add to the pump just don't over do it. Hiking stairs with a pack is great too.

4) Get your gear dialed. Get ice clippers (BD or Petzl) and a v thread tool (Grivel or Petzl). Other items you should have in your pack include hand warmers, head lamp, balaclava, neck gaiter and extra gloves, food, water and hard candy. One guide tip I learned from guides buy a pair of cheap work gloves at the local hardware store. they work great for dry-tooling and ice climbing on warmer days.

5) First Aid. Pick up a first aid kit at your local climbing shop. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Add some gloves, advil a few other nic nacs and your ready to get some basic first aid training. A Red Cross First Aid or Wilderness First Aid (WRA) course will give you added confidence. They are offered all over the tri-state area. There is also a Wilderness First Aid course taking place in the Gunks the weekend of Nov. 21-22. I'll be there taking it for my second time. I highly recommend it.



the nightly winter ritual of drying out ice gear.

my new favorite climbing blog: http://themountainworld.blogspot.com/

hey stranger, I haven't seen you in a while. Nope I haven't blogged in like forever. I am hoping, thinking, I'd like this to change. I haven't always know what the goal of this blog is. Most recently I thought of it as a way to keep in touch with friend when I moved upstate. Prior to that I think it was to promote my writing career. Prior to that, I am not sure I can remember.

Anyway I am thinking about using this blog as a component of my one soon to be live website. the website will be a marketing tool to promote my career as a rock and ice climbing instructor for EMS. I would like to cover recent climbs, notes on training, gear, camping and clothing systems. And I'd like to include some of my own short stories, poems, writings on politics and sex. We'll see how it goes.

It's good to be back.

lots of love, Carolyn




Me and my climbing buddy bill

Back in the 70s I had no idea Clint Eastwood was a more than competent director and filmmaker, I thought he was dirty harry callahan.

The Eiger Sanction is a bizarre little film, Eastwood stars as Dr. Hemlock a retired CIA assassin and expert mountaineer whose boss is an albino ex-nazi who calls him in for one last mission (you read it right. his boss is an albino ex-nazi. think bloefeld from 007). An assassination on the Eiger, one of the greatest mountains in the world located in Switzerland. Add to the albino nazi that Hemlock pretends he's gay during the beginning of the movie and its filmed in SF and later kills another gay man for hitting on him or conspiring with the bad guys and you gotta wonder who the "bad guys" are when your working for an albino nazi. This movie is campy, racist, homophobic, and still pretty darn cool. The Eiger Sanction is considered the most authentic mountaineering movie ever made by climbers. there is no cgi. no stunt double Clint Eastwood actually fucking climbed mountains in the movie. The end sequence of the film shot on the eiger is really freaking hair raising cause they are obviously doing some dangerous shit on the Eiger. Its a definite renter.

Check out the trailer below. it is flatout terrible.

Here's the start of my new blog series. Great moments in climbing in the movies...or not.


Set in the Colorado Rockies but filmed in Italy, 1993's Cliffhanger stars Sly Stallone as a climber dealing with the grief of dropping his best friends girlfriend. Lots of delightful homo-eroticism between the bros Sly and Michael Rooker (always a treat) as they are forced to work together to stop John Lietgow and a cast of international terrorists stealing money.

Cliffhanger's actually a pretty good action flick notable for having the most expensive ariel stunt ever filmed. I like stallone and here is one of his early 90s attempts to be more human action hero. I've watched Cliffhanger a few times of cable and always enjoy it. Its a cut above the decades more medocrie action flicks.

The film is also dedicated to badass climber Wolfgang Gullich, Stallone's stunt double who was killed soon after the film was made.

oh how i love post-apocalyptic movies and fiction. Dawn of the Dead (78) is my favorite movie of all time. I can't wait for the road. And here's carriers a movie i know nothing about but I like what i see.

Kathryn Bigelow is one of the best action directors in Hollywood and you've never heard of her. Have you seen Point Break, her existential take on cops and robbers that put Keanu on the map. Did you see Near Dark one of the most original and best vampire movies ever? A movie so good her ex-husband James Cameron borrowed a half dozen of the cast for a little movie called Aliens. Have you seen her work on the small screen directing classic 5 star episodes of Homocide life on the streets? Or Blue Steel? or Strange Days. Each one of her films are unique and special.

Kathryn Bigelow is the shit. She makes special unique movies that are completely her own vision. She makes smaller films but retains complete control of the end product. she is the godmother of women action directors and one of the best male or female.

This weekend Michael Bay is release a 200 plus million dollar piece of crap called transformers. Bigelow is releasing hurt locker, one of most viserally exciting movies of the summer. What are we going to see? Starting the great Jermey Brenner is guy is a stellar young actor. Every time I see him on the screen I get excited. Here's the trailer. It's the bomb.

I say this without an once of meanspiritedness, cynicism or criticism but I think we can only imagine the ugly truthes that will now emerge with the passing of Michael Jackson. I was never a fan although I've loved dancing to many of his songs. I found his gender and sexual expressions fascinating then soon disturbing. Certainly for over the past twenty years serious allegations of child sexual abuse have tainted his self proclaimed status as the King of Pop. Whatever pleasure I derived from Michael Jackson's music died then as it seemed it had for him too. A fantastic dancer he pantomimed his signature moves until I felt like I was drunken karaoke. His songs lost there passion, pleasure and depth as he seemed determined to prove in his art that he really was a straight guy and adopted the drag of a "reculsive artist." His personal life a farce many times over with arranged marriages and child born and used as props and perhaps worse. And lets not beat around the bush. There is something very ulgy that has been surpressed by MJ and his organization of staff, security, lawyers, record companies and family. We all know it and its an ongoing cancerous sore that eats away at any good will and respect I may have ever had for him. Within hours of his passing reports of Michael Jackson's trusted inner circle enabling his rampant perscription drug abuse. More and more cracks will emerge. I feel a deep sadness for Michael Jackson a great performer, singer and artist. I respect all those who can claim a golden moment with his music before all of tragedies and suffering began to mount and became public fodder in the gossip columns. But I dont know if I can ever find joy in his music again. I am torn on some level as a fan of enabling a fantasy of this young peter pan dancing forever while the horrific stories of child sexual abuse have followed him for so long. A victim of abuse himself and this celebrity machine, this man still lived his life and must be judged by his deeds. We will always have his songs but other voices need to be heard.