brooklyngoilnnp

• 15:18 ATTENTION ATTENTION: I am booking performers for Red Hots in the New Year & I am booking MYSELF cause I can breathe again. Nice? Right? #
• 16:22 I am rockin' The Clash's "Clash on Broadway" what's in your ear? #
• 17:16 @AngelXStacy oooh Velocity's Vulgaras? They're awesome!!~ #
• 20:11 twitpic.com/s1bnq - Some kind of bug attacked me inch and ouch!! #

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i'm there. anyone else in? http://bit.ly/O5A4s tix are only $13 apiece (including charges)

1. I have nothing to report. I work, I study, sometimes I run. That’s it, it’s a boring life right now.

2. I am currently reading the Road. That Cormac McCarthy, he is a laugh riot! The scene with the cannibals and the kid crying ‘cause he is starving and the world turned to ash? Had me in stitches on the bus this morning.

3. I am finally this month pulling the trigger on secretsmonday . This coming Monday will be the last one I do, ever. If someone else wants to take the meme up and do it on their page, they can have it, but for me, this one will be the last. So mark your calendars and lets have Secrets Monday end with a bang.

December is here and Hanukkah is just around the corner! Hanukkah is one of my favorite holidays, hot greasy food, dancing girls and lights in the darkest month of the year! I'm pleased to announce that with my Schlep Sister (Minnie Tonka) and Jen Gapay of Thirsty Girl Productions; I am producing THE 3RD ANNUAL MENORAH HORAH! This is a once a year extravaganza, we've got a STELLAR LINE-UP including Kenny Mellman and Golem!!

There is MORE! I'm back teaching at THE NEW YORK SCHOOL OF BURLESQUE, performing and modeling in Great Barrington, MA with SUGAR SHACK BURLESQUE, and PINCHBOTTOM BURLESQUE! Wait, that's not it, there is MORE! This month is jam-packed with holiday festivities, check it out!!

Also check out photo's from November and THE LILY'S REVENGE and The New York School of Burlesque at the Very Bottom!
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THE SHORT LIST
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1. December 1:ART MODEL @ The Society of Illustrators, 6:30pm. NYC
2. December 3: Teaching FLIRTING WITH BURLESQUE @ 440 Studios, 7pm. NYC
3. December 5:Modeling SALON PRIVE @ Great Barrington Bra and Girl, 6-7:30pm 35 Railroad St.Great Barrington, MA
4. December 5:SUGAR SHACK HEADS NORTH @ The Napa Wine Bar, 8 and 10:30pm.293 Main St, Great Barrington, MA
5. December 6:The Schlep Sisters at HOLIDAY ON THE HUDSON Benefit for DNA Dance 3pm Board Ship @The Chelsea Peers. NYC
6. December 6: The Schlep Sisters host KITTY NIGHTS @ Bar on A, 9pm. NYC
7. December 10: PINCHBOTTOM BURLESQUE:FILTHY LUCRE: A Burlesque Christmas Hanukkah Carol @ Walker Space, 10pm NYC
8. December 11: The Schlep Sisters and Thirsty Girl Productions Present THE 3RD ANNUAL MENORAH HORAH! @ Two Boots 9pm 281 Fairfield Avenue, Bridgeport, CT.
9. December 12: The Schlep Sisters and Thirsty Girl Productions Present THE 3RD ANNUAL MENORAH HORAH! @ Southpaw 7pm. Brooklyn, NYC10. December 17:ART MODEL @ The Society of Illustrators, 6:30pm. NYC
11. December 18: HOT BOX BURLESQUE @ The Slipper Room 10pm, NYC
12. December 26: MR CHOADS UPSTAIRS/DOWNSTAIRS @ The Slipper Room 10pm, NYC
13. December 27: DIM SUM BURLESQUE @ The Chow Bar 8pm, NYC
14. December 29: ART MODEL @ The Society of Illustrators, 6:30pm. NYC

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THE LONG LIST
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DECEMBER 1, 17 & 29th!
Art Model at the Society of Illustrators
128 East 63rd Street (between Park and Lexington Avenues)

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DECEMBER 3
TEACHING FLIRTING WITH BURLESQUE
7PM
The New York School of Burlesque at 440 Studios
440 Lafayette, NY,NY

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DECEMBER 5
6-7:30pm
Salon Prive
Great Barrington Bra and Girl
35 Railroad St.
Great Barrington, MA
(413)528-6069
www.braandgirl.com
AND
8PM & 10:30PM
Sugar Shack Heads North
The Napa Wine Bar
293 Main St, Great Barrington, MA
www.napagb.com

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DECEMBER 6
3-7PM
Dance New Amsterdam (DNA) Presents:
Holiday on the Hudson
www.dnadance.org

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AND ALSO DECEMBER 6

9PM

The Schlep Sisters Host:
Kitty Nights Burlesque
Bar on A
170 Avenue A

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DECEMBER 10
10PM
PINCHBOTTOM BURLESQUE:FILTHY LUCRE: A Burlesque Christmas Hanukkah Carol
Walker Space Theater
46 Walker Street

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The Schlep Sisters and Thirsty Girl Productions Present

3rd ANNUAL MENORAH HORAH!

Two Festive Nights! Two Fantastic Cities!!

----------------

Friday, December 11 @ Two Boots: 281 Fairfield Avenue, Bridgeport, CT

Doors at 9PM | Show at 10PM

Admission is $12 in advance/$16 at the door, www.twobootsbridgeport.com

----------------

Saturday, December 12 @ Southpaw: 125 Fifth Avenue, Brooklyn

Doors at 7PM | Show at 8PM

Admission is $12 in advance/$16 at the door, www.spsounds.com

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DECEMBER 18
10pm
HOT BOX BURLESQUE
The Slipper Room
167 Orchard Street

DECEMBER 26
10pm
MR CHOADS UPSTAIRS/DOWNSTAIRS
The Slipper Room
167 Orchard Street

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DECEMBER 27
8PM
DIM SUM BURLESQUE
The Chow Bar
230 West 4th Street

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THE PHOTOS FROM NOVEMBER
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The New York School of Burlesque hosts TLC's "What Not to Wear"

From L-R Jo Boobs, Darlinda Just Darlinda, Weirdee Girl, and Gal Friday

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The Lily's Revenge

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Darlinda Just Darlinda as Taylor Mac

Photo and Make-up by Taylor Mac(The Lily's Revenge writer, creator, producer and STAR Lily!)

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Bride Love and The Curtain

Photo by Kim Rosen

----------------------------------------
The Gals Backstage Kayla Asbell, Heather Christian and Darlinda Just Darlinda

Closing Night Wedding

Last two Photos by David Drake(Lily's Revenge Director)

• 14:43 @angelxstacy twitpic.com/rqh7k - I look so so essashareepy. #
• 16:02 When do we eat? #
• 19:30 2 more hours left in today's installment of hell job. i hate that i have to be here at all. #

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• 13:44 Add FEED the film on Facebook. Updates to come fast and furious, including photos, trailers, contest and teasers. ADD! #
• 13:44 this might help: www.facebook.com/#/pages/Feed-the-Film/325928360087 #

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Wow!

What a complaining stooge I was in the entry I posted earlier which I have since deleted.

Talk about a whiner.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

I went down to the United Methodist Episcopal church at Third and Lead to donate a new $12 blanket I had an extra of to Brother Ralph's homeless outreach.

There were more than 100 people crowded into a smallish room, as rooms in gigantic socially-active churches go, checking their backpacks at the door and carefully inspecting the used jeans and track shoes and blankets that were there for them.

Food stamp usage has hit an all-time high. One-quarter of all American children now eat food stamp food. Those are the ones with stoves. And it's cold out there.

• 21:26 stir crazy who's going out tonight? #

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I am a genius when it comes to prezzies, I must say.

I solved the problem of not wanting to bake cookies or buy wine for the neighbors, many of whom are as old and fat and abstemious as I am and whose houses are as jammed with crap as mine, by reading the list of local charities in the paper today and deciding to give each a tiny amount in the name of each of the neighbors. As I was going to donate anyway, and perhaps blow off the neighbors, which I don't really want to do, this kills two birds with one stone and, like, feels the lurv.

As for Jack Daniels, who is, I have decided, the most toxic person I've ever met, and I've known dozens very well, I was going to give him a copy of Feeling Good and a list of cog therapists/spin-dry artists in the city.

Then I was going to make the lump of coal featured in this month's Martha, but it's too much energy for someone who is already a brain-sucking energy vampire. Finally, I decided to give him toasting forks for marshmallows and weenies, hehehe, which is something both I and F want, hehehe, and also to give him one of the little cards that says a donation has been made in his name. I carefully chose the charity which shall be his: Share Your Care Adult Day Services: Provides day services for frail, elderly and disabled adults.

I chose the charity before I thought how perfect it would be for Daniels, so there's not really too much blood money involved. There's an ice floe, Jack, and it's leaving the station. Be on it.

Now for the good stuff. My artistic hiphop godson, who is now a man of eleven, is getting this $20 vest from the army surplus store.


http://www.armynavymilitarysurplus.com/index.cfm?action=cat.prodInfo&productID=4067&categoryID=979

Each of its eight pockets shall be filled with something ravishing from Dick Blick, which has the best stocking stuffers EVAR. The Noahman will be getting a pocket set of Prismacolor Verithins, a matching Prismacolor pencil sharpener, a pocket size Moleskine sketchbook, a four-and-a-half inch pcoket watercolor palette, a little plastic bottle for the water, and, of course, a Swiss Army knife. The other pockets shall be filled with bubblegum and the cartridge holders across the front with candy canes. One pocket shall have the little card that says a donation of art supplies has been made in his name to Casa Angelica: the residential facility for kids and young adults with profound developmental disabilities.

And he is probably old enough now to have a black bandanna to go with the knife.

I may have to get me one of these set-ups.

I have lighted upon the perfect prezzies for Internet friends, for genocide colleagues (raspberry chile ginger jam), and for young X, who loves mustard, and my beloved real estate agent, the gayest man in the universe.

The children and the real estate agents are the only ones getting real prezzies this year. M, the spider-eating boy, is getting a very nice art poster of spideys and the Caldecott medal book of stories about Anansi, the trickster spider. His older bro is getting a coin sorter and a coloring book about economics, as I recall when I was four I thought strictly about money and death. They're important.

She stars on page one of yesterday's ABQ Journal as the number one fan of Belen's champion high school football team.



I think she may have painted both the sign and the halfback. She asked me the other day if I thought it looked like a turkey, and I said no.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/purejuice/sets/72157622427001969/

Meanwhile, on the field on a glittery fall afternoon this week, as Belen readied for its game with Aztec, senior wide receiver Pasqual Armijo said his grandfather, also named Pasqual Armijo, played on the 1963 unbeaten Belen team.

“That team was pretty tough,” Armijo said. “It would be an honor if we are able to pass them because they set the foundation for Belen football.”



( Eagle Pride: This Story Pretty Much Kills Me )

• 14:53 Woah, 10 hours of sleep. That was beautiful! And thanks to the Thanksgiving Drinking Game, I passed out before PeeWee on Conan. #

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Anahí is interested in learning trapeze skills. She's been interested in this for a few years, but we are both worried about the prices of classes.

Can anyone recommend classes in New York City that are good for beginners and are either priced reasonably or allow some sort of volunteering to lower the price?

Thanks!

1.
It's really nice to make new men friends without the Verweile doch, du bist so schoene sell-your-soul-to-the-devil thing. There are Real Men out here in the desert. And lots of sexy Old Babes. Pretty much don't want to talk politics with em though. Grama was right: no tedious personal details, no organ recitals, no politics.

2.
After nearly telling my neighbor, the Hispanic-American Princess, how much I hated the Hogwarts Portal mailbox, her mother, the Hispanic-American Queen, who works for the city and drives a Solid Waste Management pickup truck, and who is my new BFF, has offered to buy it off me 'cause they love it. I'll never be rid of it.


These things sell for one hundred and forty bucks at Lowe's. And is exactly the kind of verkachte deeply debauched shit the Peebees would splurge on, while installing $25 plastic doors, windows, cabinet pulls, tile and floors. Please note The Horror The Horror cheezass bricks that formed the threshhold in this photograph, a serious matter of very bad voodoo, which the $140 could and should have amended.

3.
Thanksgiving was fantastic. All the more pleasurable without the ghost of 60 years' of bitching and boozing, thank you, Lord, who was back east puffing smoke on his grandchildren. No choice between Thanksgiving with the fam and three weeks in bed.

Acey spent the dinner party under the blanket in the bed in the studio. She's afraid of the cat, Miss Peeps. I tiptoed back there every once in a while with some crab dip on a cracker or a morsel of turkey. Acey is so afraid of Peeps she jumped up to take a detour on the sofa on our way out to avoid have to walk around the cat. Who weighs about eight pounds soaking wet.

The cranberry salsa, the grapefruit aspic with cheeseballs, the giblet gravy and the sweet green chile relish on cream cheese were standouts. The walnut-cranberry tart was like a bolt of insulin lightning and we all staggered home with Karo-syrup glazed eyes. Fantastic.

Guests included the spiky St. Louis debutante, ca. 1959, cum Bennington grad, who works in a top secret job for Sandia Boom-Boom Labs and a seventh-generation Mormon desert rat handyman who knows all about the Apache. We're definitely not in Kansas any more.

4.
I miss the formerly literate people who used to write wonderful posts here and who now have fallen for that easier slut, Facebook. You know who you are, dawg.

5.
I doubt seriously that the late lamented whitelinefever has fallen for Facebook, though I would if he did. One of his killer entries in the purejuice Annual HappyWinterFestival Memoir Contest was about the year his mother was so broke she made a Christmas tree out of tumbleweed. There's a pic on the front of yesterday's ABQ Journal of the arroyo workers erecting their annual 20 foot snowman along the highway. Made of tumbleweed.

This one's for you, Feav.

these group dance things always make me tear up.....

1. Irony
2. Escarole
3. Motorcycle helmets
4. Martha Stewart Living
5. Curbside mailboxes

So the sewers are overwhelmed and the waters are being polluted with our own delusions. I'd like to thank Howard Jarvis and Grover Norquist and Bill Fucking Clinton and the DLC and Larry Summers and all the neo-liberals for this pie in the sky idea, that we can have roads and sewers and public school systems and prisons and finance systems and not pay for them.

This shit cocktail is for you, boys. We are now officially a third world country. Thanks.

( NYT On Sewage Infrastructure Failure )

In these sentiments, Sir, I agree to this Constitution with all its faults, if they are such; because I think a general Government necessary for us, and there is no form of Government but what may be a blessing to the people if well administered, and believe farther that this is likely to be well administered for a course of years, and can only end in Despotism, as other forms have done before it, when the people shall become so corrupted as to need despotic Government, being incapable of any other.

-- B. Franklin, 1787
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/benfranklin1787.htm

• 16:13 Need every beautiful person i know to come to medici today at 4 and tomorrow supper club at 3 pm CALL w any questions #
• 03:33 tomorrow is your last chance to be an extra for FEED come to the supper club harrison between 2nd and 3rd @ 2pm! #

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